She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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