just come out here and I will go home with you...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
