we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
