You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
