Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
