She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
