let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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