dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
