did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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