Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What a fucking waste of an outfit
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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