was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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