you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
