how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
