Whats the glycemic index on semen?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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