He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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