Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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