I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize