Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
