Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
