the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
