Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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