Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
