he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize