We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
