if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
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