awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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