He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
