Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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