This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
