only if we run a train.
done.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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