I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
