Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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