My hair reeks of homosexuality.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
