oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
