yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
