Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
