This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
