I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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