dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
