Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
