it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
