We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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