so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
