I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
