I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
