one two three fourrrrnication!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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