I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
