at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
