K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
