i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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