i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
