awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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