Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
