I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
