i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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