yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have fence marks all over my body
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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