Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
