There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
