haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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