How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize