Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
