it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize