It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
false alarm. still invincible.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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