then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
