This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
PANTIES FOUND
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