I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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