He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
