i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
