ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
