Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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