so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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