when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
