How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
