Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
