it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
