He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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