We're like a lot better than the average bears
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
