you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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