he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
